Punch in the Gut

Until a couple of months ago, I had been incredibly lax, careless or whatever term you choose, about my diabetes care.

Taking in to consideration there was a long list of things going on in my life: court dates with foster care, house hunting, box packing, saying goodbye to the renter's world and closing on our new home (YAHOO!), adopting my daughter (2nd YAHOO!), moving boxes, dealing with a disgruntled landlord, unpacking and setting up house, driving to Colorado for the holidays, being a mom, and working part time to boot. Not that any of the above things can be considered a valid or viable excuse for putting my diabetes care, exercise, glucose testing, or insulin pumping on the back burner (or maybe the back burner of the back burner, but you get the picture) but I just was consumed with everything else going on in my life.

After 2-3 months of burnout/not giving a damn, I got the big wake up call that I needed so badly when I went to the doctor for the first time in well over 6 months. My A1C test result was horrific. It was a mean and scary 11.2! My doctor basically but oh so pointedly reamed me with the good old "if you don't get your hemoglobin down soon, here's the long list of complications you're going to get sooner than later" speech. I started to cry. I didn't even have a low blood sugar to blame for these tears. I could only blame myself. It was like a dam had broken. I hadn't been feeling good for a while, and my energy was kaput. My moods were swinging back and forth faster than a pendulum. And I was tired of it. I explained how I had been feeling and the doctor actually LISTENED and told me that he wanted to do some blood tests. The results came back with some crazy numbers. The routine things they checked for were fine (cholesterol, triglycerides etc) except for my thyroid. My TSH or thyroid stimulating hormone was off the charts, literally. I have had hypothyroidism for 13 years, and I've gotten some crazy numbers back in blood test results, but the doctor said he hadn't seen numbers like this in years. My TSH was 303.4 and a person with a thyroid that hasn't quit on them should have under 4.0. The doctor said it was amazing that I was even upright and able to get out of bed in the morning. He said that these numbers could also be a contributing factor to my lousy A1C. So without telling the entire story and all the nitty grittty details, I was a mess, and was immediately put on a higher dose of Synthroid, and the doctor said he wanted to put me on a medicine called Symlin.

Symlin is a hormone that is an injection that is prescribed for both Type 1's and Type 2's alike. It's main point is to help you lower blood sugar, but can help curb your appetite.

So I've been on it for a couple of weeks now, and I am seeing a real difference. I am feeling better now that my thyroid is starting to sort itself out with my medicine, and my energy is coming back.

I got that "wake up and smell the roses" punch in the gut that I needed. So I am anxiously awaiting the next check up appointment with my endo to see what my A1C is! Here's to getting myself better and motivated again.

Decisions..Decisions

Today was my sweet Grandpa's birthday. There was a small get together near my oldest sister's house at the Carl's Jr fast food restaurant because that is his favorite place to eat. I didn't have much of a breakfast (a Diet Dr. Pepper.. or two) so I was pretty hungry when I got there. Most of their options are fried, or pretty much doused in sugary-yummy sauces. I'm a little hesitant to order salads at fast food places due to bad experiences.

I usually try to avoid fried foods for every reason most people should, but I ordered the chicken tenders. They were dang good. I didn't test the typical hour to 2 hours after eating them, but I still enjoyed every bite! YUM!!

A Fresh Start

I'm seriously doubting that anyone reads this blog, so I'm not going to care what people think when I post things. There is a vast and unfamiliar world online full of members of the DOC or diabetes online community. These people put their entire lives with diabetes online for the world to see. Their experiences have helped me to not feel alone in my disease, but to embrace it and take better care of myself. So here's to a new start, or a fresher one in putting my feelings and experiences out there.

Lucky Common Ground

Last Saturday, I drove down with my husband, and foster daughter to a wedding that was about 1 hour and 15 minutes away. After the wedding, we headed home but stopped for a quick lunch at a delicious deli place in South Jordan, Utah. We were there for about 45 minutes. We jumped in the car and came home.

It wasn't until that evening that I realized I couldn't find my glucometer. I thought maybe in the craziness of the day it might have fallen out of my bag where I keep all the baby stuff, my wallet and diabetic supplies when we are out and about. I looked everywhere in my car, and then even asked my husband to go look, thinking that I might have missed it. Much to my nervous and anxious chagrin, it wasn't there. I started to freak out a little. I was starting to hate the thought that it might have fallen out of my bag somewhere where the wedding had taken place, or even at the restaurant. Someone could easily pick it up, open it, and not know what the heck it is and throw it away. This wouldn't be a big deal were it not for the fact that my glucometer isn't your run of the mill $20 device you can pick up at any pharmacy and replace. My glucometer works wirelessly with my pump so heaven only knows how much it really costs.

I had Brandon pull up the phone number to the deli only to hear him tell me they are closed Sundays. That would mean not being able to check my blood sugar for another 24 hours. Oy....

I told Brandon that I guessed I would be driving anywhere I called to find it, come Monday.

Monday morning, after my foster daughter's visit with family, I called the deli. As luck (or whatever you call it) would have it, a really cute gal answered the phone:

"Hello?"

"Hey there, I am calling not to order food, but to ask if y'all have a lost and found in the deli?"

"Why yes we do, what is it you have lost?"

"This is going to sound funny, but I lost a little black zipper case."

"Oh, do you mean the diabetic glucometer? What you use to check your blood sugar with? We have it right here! I am a diabetic myself, and all I could think of when I saw that was 'Oh no! Someone will be missing that'! "

"Wow! I am so glad y'all found it! I'm a Type 1 Diabetic, what about you?"

"I'm a Type 1 too. Thank you so much for your help, I will soon be on my way to pick my glucometer up."

"Sure thing! We're open now, so we'll see you soon!"

This was the gist of my conversation with this gal. Though I had never met her, I felt an instant connection to her, because she knew exactly how I felt.

When I got to the deli, she asked me about my glucometer, and I told her how it corresponds to my pump. She thought that was cool, and she showed me her pump, pulling it out of her pocket, just as I pulled mine out of mine. I had never heard of her brand of pump, but it was just a simple and cool feeling all the same.

In a daily life of living with this disease, where it's easy to feel all alone, and like no one understands, it was nice to have this brief yet cool conversation with someone who I share a common ground with. It's a difference about us that brings us together, and helps us understand one another.

Pumping It

Back in November, I started trying different types of insulin pumps. I tried both Minimed and Animas and went ahead and got the Animas. What really sold me on it was the fact there was the option to wirelessly bolus from my fancy glucometer that came with the pump itself. I am feeling better, and am grateful for the ease of taking care of myself. Gone are the days of giving myself insulin in public and people staring. I don't have to carry what looks like drug paraphenalia around with me anymore. I just press a few buttons and it's me taking care of myself. I was so strongly opposed to pumping before, but not anymore! I tried to go through the trial with an open mind, and lo and behold, I FELL IN LOVE!

World Diabetes Day

It's interesting that this day occurs/is celebrated in the month of November. Many people focus on the things that they are grateful for during this month, because of Thanksgiving. Well, today I am grateful for my diabetes.

Sound crazy?

It's not, if you let me explain.

I am extremely blessed to live in a time when being a diabetic isn't a life sentence. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't all that long ago that the technology that sustains me and helps me survive and have a good life did not exist. The pump I will soon get, the glucometer I check my sugars with, insulin: in all it's life giving glory...DID NOT EXIST. Back in the day I would have probably been sent home to die after such a diagnosis.

But I wasn't, because I live in the here and now, when technology is accessible and makes life possible (and a great one at that) for any PWD's (people with diabetes).

I am grateful for living in a time when people who know and love someone with diabetes don't have to just sit by and watch their loved one suffer and die from the ravages of this disease. If I take care of myself, I can lessen the likelihood/alleviate many complications of my disease.

I have so many "cans" as opposed to "can'ts" compared to so many people who lived before today.

For all these things, and much much more, I am grateful for what life has given me.

Even my diabetes.

Pump Demo

This last Monday I went to the Utah Diabetes Center at the UofU in Salt Lake City. My appointment was supposed to be just for a consultation about the pros and cons of insulin pumps. They were sitting down with me to explain the different types of pumps/name brands that are available to diabetics like me.

I met with a wonderful gal named Dez. She took the time to really answer my questions. I decided that though I had been vehemently against the idea of getting a pump in the past, I would go in to this appointment with an open mind, and plenty of questions.

There were 3 kinds of pumps shown to me. There were the OmniPod, the Animas, and the Medtronic pumps. The OmniPod is a tubeless pump that has a casing where the insulin is located and sticks to your body with adhesive and is controlled by a fancy-pants glucometer. Basically you program the glucometer to administer insulin. Both the Animas and the Medtronic pumps require tubing and are about the size of a pager.

After all three devices were explained to me, Dez asked which one I would want to try for what they call a "demo" or a week long trial of working with a pump knowing only the basics. I chose the Medtronic. She suggested that we schedule another appointment for me to come down so she could help me learn the basics, how to set the pump up etc. I asked if she had any free time that day, because it's a 40+ minute drive down to Salt Lake City from where I live, and she said I could wait around while she worked with another patient.

To make a long story short, I am now in the middle of this pump demo and loving it. It's so nice to not feel like a walking pin cushion with sticking myself EVERY SINGLE TIME I eat. It's a more precise science, in that it calculates how much insulin I should give myself according to my insulin to carb ratios. It elminates the guessing game of how much I calculate in my head and helps reduce the likelihood of lows.

It's been a little adjustment to wearing the pump, but I disconnect it for taking showers, swimming, etc. I have absolutely no complaints whatsoever. Yet. We'll just have to see.