Saturday, November 14, 2009

World Diabetes Day

It's interesting that this day occurs/is celebrated in the month of November. Many people focus on the things that they are grateful for during this month, because of Thanksgiving. Well, today I am grateful for my diabetes.

Sound crazy?

It's not, if you let me explain.

I am extremely blessed to live in a time when being a diabetic isn't a life sentence. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't all that long ago that the technology that sustains me and helps me survive and have a good life did not exist. The pump I will soon get, the glucometer I check my sugars with, insulin: in all it's life giving glory...DID NOT EXIST. Back in the day I would have probably been sent home to die after such a diagnosis.

But I wasn't, because I live in the here and now, when technology is accessible and makes life possible (and a great one at that) for any PWD's (people with diabetes).

I am grateful for living in a time when people who know and love someone with diabetes don't have to just sit by and watch their loved one suffer and die from the ravages of this disease. If I take care of myself, I can lessen the likelihood/alleviate many complications of my disease.

I have so many "cans" as opposed to "can'ts" compared to so many people who lived before today.

For all these things, and much much more, I am grateful for what life has given me.

Even my diabetes.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Pump Demo

This last Monday I went to the Utah Diabetes Center at the UofU in Salt Lake City. My appointment was supposed to be just for a consultation about the pros and cons of insulin pumps. They were sitting down with me to explain the different types of pumps/name brands that are available to diabetics like me.

I met with a wonderful gal named Dez. She took the time to really answer my questions. I decided that though I had been vehemently against the idea of getting a pump in the past, I would go in to this appointment with an open mind, and plenty of questions.

There were 3 kinds of pumps shown to me. There were the OmniPod, the Animas, and the Medtronic pumps. The OmniPod is a tubeless pump that has a casing where the insulin is located and sticks to your body with adhesive and is controlled by a fancy-pants glucometer. Basically you program the glucometer to administer insulin. Both the Animas and the Medtronic pumps require tubing and are about the size of a pager.

After all three devices were explained to me, Dez asked which one I would want to try for what they call a "demo" or a week long trial of working with a pump knowing only the basics. I chose the Medtronic. She suggested that we schedule another appointment for me to come down so she could help me learn the basics, how to set the pump up etc. I asked if she had any free time that day, because it's a 40+ minute drive down to Salt Lake City from where I live, and she said I could wait around while she worked with another patient.

To make a long story short, I am now in the middle of this pump demo and loving it. It's so nice to not feel like a walking pin cushion with sticking myself EVERY SINGLE TIME I eat. It's a more precise science, in that it calculates how much insulin I should give myself according to my insulin to carb ratios. It elminates the guessing game of how much I calculate in my head and helps reduce the likelihood of lows.

It's been a little adjustment to wearing the pump, but I disconnect it for taking showers, swimming, etc. I have absolutely no complaints whatsoever. Yet. We'll just have to see.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

New Doc

I don't update this blog as often as I would like, even though I know no one really reads it.

About 3 weeks ago, I had my first appointment with my new doctor down at the U of U. What an awesome experience that was. I learned more in that introductory visit than I had in my nearly 5 years of seeing other doctors, diabetes educators, and nutritionists. What made the visit great was the knowledge that my doctor is a T1 diabetic himself. He knows the ins and outs of the disease because he lives with it every day. He doesn't just sit there and nod his head as you explain problems that you are having, he really listens and doesn't lie when he says he UNDERSTANDS. What a novelty it is to have a doctor that doesn't just smile and nod when you confide in him. He explained things about managing my BS that I had NEVER been taught before. I have had a better understanding of my disease and how to manage it because of this visit. Now I can look forward to my quarterly visits with a feeling of ease that I have a doctor who cares.

Friday, September 18, 2009

30 Things About My Invisible Illness.

Here's my edition of 30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know.

1. The illness I live with is: type 1 diabetes
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2004
3. But I had symptoms since: the summer before
4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is: understanding the humility that comes with this disease, and the unpredictability of it.
5. Most people assume: I've had it my entire life.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: having to wake up after having a scary low in the middle of the night.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Grey's or Private Practice
8. A gadget I couldn't live without is: my glucose meter
9. The hardest part about nights are: having low blood sugars in the middle of them and waking my husband from a sound sleep to ask for help.
10. Each day I take 2 pills & vitamins: just my thyroid medication
11. Regarding alternative treatments: I think that the people that try to say that insulin therapy is not the only effective/life saving route to take are well intentioned, but DEAD (meaning without insulin, yes, you would be dead) wrong.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Either of these makes life more difficult no matter how you look at it. They both suck.
13. Regarding working and career: There are the embarrassing moments when you get a low in the middle of working with someone, but the humility is half the battle.
14. People would be surprised to know: that there is no such thing as a perfect diabetic. And no, I don't need you telling me how to handle my disease, such as telling me how I should eat, or telling me about your friend that would never make the same food choices as me.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: that I am not invincible, and that my life would be changed forever.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: really the fact that I haven't had any thoughts about what my limits would be.
17. The commercials about my illness: are never about MY illness. They are always about type 2 diabetes.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: being able to sit down and enjoy rich and tasty homemade foods and desserts without thinking about how much insulin I should take with my food, or how sick I might be later after eating it.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: living a more care-free life style. Oh, and not having to carry a purse, which I HAVE to do to keep all my supplies with me.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: ... reading nutrition labels?!
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Eat what I want without thinking about how my body will respond to it, and be excited about not having to take my injections or prick my finger.
22. My illness has taught me: how much those that truly care about me worry about me, and once again, the overwhelming sense of humility that comes with having and living with this disease. Oh and that it's okay to get angry once in a while about having this disease.
23. One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "Ew, I could never do what you do with all those needles" or "That sucks" or "It's YOUR fault you have the disease because you didn't take care of yourself growing up" (FYI Type 1 is NOT my fault, there was NO way to prevent it)
24. But I love it when people: ask questions in the attempt to understand what I experience everyday.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "This, too, shall pass."
26. When someone is diagnosed I'd like to tell them: that there is hope.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: it does not define me as a person, individual, or my potential as a human being.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was: accepting the in's and out's of my disease and supporting me instead of blaming me.
29. I'm involved with Invisible Illness Week because: you should never judge a book by it's cover.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: like maybe you'll understand me a little more than you thought you did.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

My Costly Mishap

My middle name has never been "grace" but when it comes to being a klutz, I can't AFFORD to make the mistake I did earlier this week.

I was just going about my business in the kitchen, probably getting one of my boys their snacks or something when I opened the door to the refrigerator possibly a little too fast and one of my vials of Lantus (estimated cost $105) came tumbling out and hit the floor just at the perfect angle to make it it bottom out and spill all over the place. If anyone has ever smelled insulin, it smells like a hospital (or maybe that's just me). I had to quickly maneuver to pick the baby up and put him somewhere safe so he wouldn't crawl through the glass. I can't quite remember (disclaimer) if any colorful vocabulary escaped my lips, but I can almost guarantee I thought them! All I could think of was that the vial was definitely more full than empty and how much one of those suckers cost! Luckily I have back-ups for circumstances like this one still in the fridge.

This has happened 3 times in the last 4.5 years. Hopefully after 3 strikes I am done. I am going to situate my vials in a place where they won't come falling out of the fridge like that anymore.

Changes.....

After the last post I meant to update this blog more often, but alas we have been busy or I have just been way too lazy to write anything.

I am at my 4.5 year mark of having diabetes. In those 4.5 years I have learned some things and I am regrettably lax on others. I have decided this summer is going to be about getting back in shape both mentally and physically when it comes to my diabetes management. When I say mentally, I mean taking my disease and its management a little more seriously. I want to set some goals that will enable me to improve my perspective and attitude on dealing with things on a daily basis. When I say physically, I mean that I want to start taking better steps to improve my daily eating habits, become more religious about knowing when to say no to things that I shouldn't eat, and when I do eat things I know my body can handle that I will exercise portion control. I also want to keep jogging when I can, though there are weeks where B is so busy during the evenings, that I don't get the chance to really go for a jog.

I feel good about some of these changes. I want to do what I can now to prevent complications from coming sooner than later, if not totally usurping the chances of developing any of them period! Wish me luck!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Bad News? Give It to Me Straight

About a month ago I went to my endocrinologist for a check up that was a little over due.

And as a result of my recklessness in eating things I shouldn't, or sometimes forgetting to give myself insulin after I eat, I had a pretty nasty A1C. This came as a wake up call for me.... again. And I will even admit that I didn't immediately come home from that visit and dive right back in to a better routine and frame of mind for eating the way I should. I have continued jogging even running in a 5k this month and taking care of my boys. This week I have tried jumping back on the bandwagon of diabetes care and it's been difficult.

Yesterday my husband and I took all my Rx's to the local pharmacy and spent $550 dollars on my supplies. I came home and started testing again. I had a high of 243 after lunch at Taco Maker, but after that it was great the rest of the day. Right before I went to bed last night, I tested and was pleasantly surprised to find a 143 on my meter. I gave myself my dose of Lantus and went to bed, but not without eating a yummy snack first. That didn't help....

I woke up at 5 am this morning with a glucose of 53. Talk about feeling a little defeated! I dragged myself in my "stupor" up the stairs to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of cookies, and a glass of juice. I went back to bed, and woke up this morning with a glucose of 134. These are the numbers that help me reflect on once again establishing better goals and ranges for glucose.

Recently, I watched Michael J. Fox's documentary on his chronic disease and remaining optimistic in life. He said something that struck a serious chord with me (don't quote me verbatim on this) "Of all the things this disease has taken from me, there has been so much given in return". He means that though there have been so many tough times or lost opportunities because of his disease, he has learned so much in return, and is grateful for the little things. I realize I need to re-focus my energies on remaining positive no matter what hardships this disease brings, but recognizing that I am human, and I will at times feel some defeat despite my best efforts not to.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Fruit Punch Flavored Chalk Anyone?....Anyone? Didn't Think So!


When an extremely LOW blood sugar hit this morning at 3 am, I woke up and reached for my bedside table in the dark looking for my glucose tabs. I have had them around forever because I very much prefer my glucose drinks that are faster at getting sugar into my system. Well I had the tabs that I refer to as "chalk" because they have the same consistency so I found them and downed about 3 or 4 of them. In chewing each one, I felt my stomach do a somersault. I can't stand the flavor or texture of those suckers.

I understand that those pieces of "chalk" could very well save my life, but for now I am going to stick with the glucose drinks I buy from Wal-Mart that taste like a melted popsicle.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Less Really is More...

I have found that when I control my portions so that I have a pretty good knowledge of how many carbs I am eating, that it helps me keep my blood sugar in check. Thus eating less means I can lose more weight, and feel better about keeping my diabetes in control.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Terms of Endearment

I found this on Dlife.com. I could not only relate to these, but laughed at them as well! I did not write them, I am not that creative! Just thought I would share!

Diabetes “Terms of Endearment”

The terms that real people with diabetes in the blogosphere are using.

Kerri MorroneThese are our terms. Ours, as the bunch of people with diabetes who flop around on the Internet and use these terms in our posts, in our frustration, in our lives. Amassed from the comments and emails from some of my favorite bloggers and anonymous lurkers, this is our compilation of Diabetes Terms of Endearment:

First Edition, aka Sniglets for People With Diabetes.

Keep in mind: These are just for fun. Anything to make us smile in the face of diabetes chaos.


Bear Fingers – When a finger has been tested to the point of exhaustion and it needs to be rested or "hibernated.”

Bouncing – When your bloodsugar drops so low overnight that your living kicks in some glucagons, causing you to bounce from low to high.

Born Again Diabetic – When a person with diabetes fosters a new-found interest in taking care of their health after years of negligence and denial.

Carbonese - The ability to determine the number of carbs in a given food based on the total carbs and the serving size (coined by a 6-year-old child with diabetes who is fluent in Carbonese and can eyeball the carbs without her mother’s input).

Clocking In – Another term for “bloodsugar reading.” Synonyms include “ringing in” and “reading at.”

Daylight Savings Time – See also “Time to Change the Lancet”.

Dead Strips – Used blood glucose meter strips found in random spots, i.e. under the seat of your car, on the floor at the gym, in a shoe, in a small gray kitten named Siah’s mouth.

Diabetic PMS – When the blood sugar rockets up for no apparent reason for the 2-3 days prior to the start of a woman’s cycle. Men may also experience this in a sympathetic mode.

Dotties – When you prick your finger, squeeze, and about five holes show up with blood. See also ”Bloody Constellation.”

Gusher – When you prick your finger, squeeze, and end up assaulted by your own bloodstream. May also be found when you remove an infusion set.

Hooking – When your pump tubing snags the doorknob and almost rips out.

Interstate BG Checks – Where upon the person with diabetes (while barreling down the interstate above the speed limit) juggles the steering wheel, BG meter, test strip, lancet and a target finger. Commonly occurs in the dark.

I didn’t feel when I was driving home from my interview, so I performed an interstate BG check and almost hit a moose.

Larry Bird – Boston Celtic’s basketball legend, jersey no. 33. Serves as cardio workout goal time inspiration for many people with diabetes. Often found at the punchline of my sad little quips.

Working out at the gym, I made sure to do Larry Bird on the treadmill.

Low Bowl – The bowl in the kitchen of a person with diabetes filled to the rim with 5-15g fast acting carb treats. Miniature versions are often found in diaper bags for "On The Go" lows.

Nabs – Crackers with peanut butter spread between them. Typically used to follow up glucose tabs in the treatment of a low bloodsugar. Names derived from the Latin “Nabisco”, the maker of the most popular peanut butter crackers. Most people with diabetes learn about nabs at diabetes camp.

Officially Scary – Applies to situations, numbers, etc. Defined as any statistic that stretches the perimeters of safety.

While at the gym, I checked at the 33 minute mark and noted that I was at the Officially Scary Number of 37 mg/dl (2.06 mmol/l)!

Panicky Diabetic Syndrome – The use of more than five test strips in a 55-minute period because you aren’t confident that your bloodsugar is coming up or down.. Often accompanied by a Rage or Serial Bolus.

Random Bolus – The method of bolusing at random and mildly calculated intervals, i.e. realizing that you may have under-bolused for a meal and opt to course in a unit or two to cover bases.

Rage Bolus – The act of suffering from a high bloodsugar for an extended period of time or for an unknown reason and the retaliatory insulin dose. Oftentimes results in a low bloodsugar.

Real People Sick – The differentiation between bloodsugar issues and the common cold. Phrase slips out most often when the person with diabetes admits to not feeling well and must specify that it is not bloodsugar related.

Regan-Rage – Term comes from the little girl in The Exorcist. Describes the behavior some people with diabetes exhibit when having a low bloodsugar. Regan-rage behaviors include swearing, screaming, spitting of juice, and stretching body parts in unnatural ways.

*Does not include levitating. If your diabetic friend/partner/child should levitate, it is probably not caused by low bloodsugar.

Serial Bolus – Administering bolus upon bolus to bring a bloodsugar down. Often likened to a Rage Bolus, but usually follows the course of multiple hours vs. one huge crank up.

Sleep-Eating – The act of rising from a sound sleep, proceeding to the kitchen and eating anything you can find. A person with diabetes often wakes up while in the process of sleep-eating without being able to figure out how they got to the kitchen or why there is ice cream all over their fingers and face.

Last night, my boyfriend found me sleep-eating again; when he was able to rouse me, I was mortified to find I had eaten a ½ gallon of chocolate ice cream.

Sugar Reaper – A night time hypo that nearly kills you.

I had a visit from the Sugar Reaper last night, which explains the bags under my eyes and the juice stains around my mouth.

S.W.A.G. Bolus – Scientific, Wild Assed Guess bolus. This is where you use more instinct than data to bolus an unexpected or uncalculated meal.

Time to Change the Lancet – Defined as any time when you change the batteries in your smoke detector, reset your clocks, or when the lancet starts to rust

Twilight Zone High – A high with no rational cause.

Despite the fact that I had not eaten anything sweet or missed any insulin, I clocked in at a Twilight Zone High of 330 mg/dl (18.33 mmol/l).

Monday, January 26, 2009

Diabetes Expo

February 7th is Salt Lake City's annual Diabetes Expo down at the Southtowne Expo Center. Last year I volunteered in the morning and then attended the expo as a visitor that afternoon! I am excited about this because it's fun to work in the morning meeting lots of people and helping out. It's basically a day filled with walking around visiting with different prescription companies, companies that make glucometers, and people representing different food manufacturers that cater to diabetics. I am doing it again this year and I am really looking forward to it! If anyone wants to go, just let me know and I can give you the info!

Friday, January 16, 2009

My Own Goal's Weakest Link

I know diabetics that are incredibly (almost inhumanly) meticulous about their diabetes regimen. They don't falter often or ever at all when it comes to what they eat. While the medical professionals in recent years have come back and said that it is OKAY for diabetics to consume sugar, sugar continues to be one of my daily overwhelming temptations. I am an avid Diet Dr Pepper drinker. This means running in to a lot of convenience (almost too convenient) stores and grabbing a few bottles to last a couple of days. And what is always there to tempt my every attempt to behave myself and not eat the most yummy of sugary sweets? Little Debbie that DEVIL WOMAN! There are times when I will mentally prepare myself to go in to the local gas station by telling myself that I will NOT buy one or two of her Zebra cakes, and their are times that I am strong and don't even look Little Debbie's way, but there are other times where if it's been a long day in dealing with ornery boys, or poopie diapers I give in to my temptations! Not only are these treats full of pure sugar, they are full of cholesterol and FAT! Now let me get to the point of this rant!

I have this dream of losing weight and being in better control of my BS. I have this dream of having a better A1C and feeling better about myself physically and mentally when it comes to my control of my disease, instead of it controlling me. Whether it is a goal or a dream, this is something that is very important to me and is a motivator for going to the gym at least 3 times a week and jogging. But I have come to realize that these effort are all for naught when I go and work out, then come home the next day only to eat junk or give in to Little Debbie's enticements! I am my OWN weakest link when it comes to my eating habits, exercise and control of my blood sugar! I am going to try a little at a time to strengthen my resistance to eating things that I absolutely KNOW I shouldn't. There was a period of time (or a couple of them at least) that I have been nearly indestructible when it came to resisting sweets. I am going to have to build up to that again! I better start building and working towards that!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Theme Song


I have come across a great motivator/theme song when it comes to living with or fighting diabetes. It's a song by Christina Aguilera that I know she wrote for her own reasons, but when you listen to the words and apply them to living the life of a diabetic, then it seriously strikes a chord. She talks about something in her life that has made her stronger, and that is definitely how I feel about diabetes. I ran to this song listening to it over and over the other night, and ended up jogging 2 miles! It helped me understand that I am a fighter when I exercise, eat right, and take care of myself, meaning I am fighting the possible complications that could arise later in life, as well as fighting for a better quality of life! If you are a diabetic and read this or know someone who is one have them listen to this song. Inspiring at best!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Done In!

The holidays just about did me in with the endless temptations and goodies that were abound! I have admitted in the past that my self control is flushed all but too hurriedly down the drain when it comes to yummies! I definitely indulged myself! My blood sugar sure did reflect it too! I am back in better control and eating better, but I am really lucky on one thing, I didn't gain any previously lost or unwanted weight! Thank goodness! I am done with eating like crap and then paying for it after for hopefully a long time! I am back to exercising for both a mental release of being home all day with the boys, and to take care of myself! So I am getting back on track after falling off to the wayside for a while.

I have a goal weight I would like to reach, but I am doing it in increments kind of following after a friend of mine's plan for losing her unwanted weight! Hopefully it works!