Bad News? Give It to Me Straight

About a month ago I went to my endocrinologist for a check up that was a little over due.

And as a result of my recklessness in eating things I shouldn't, or sometimes forgetting to give myself insulin after I eat, I had a pretty nasty A1C. This came as a wake up call for me.... again. And I will even admit that I didn't immediately come home from that visit and dive right back in to a better routine and frame of mind for eating the way I should. I have continued jogging even running in a 5k this month and taking care of my boys. This week I have tried jumping back on the bandwagon of diabetes care and it's been difficult.

Yesterday my husband and I took all my Rx's to the local pharmacy and spent $550 dollars on my supplies. I came home and started testing again. I had a high of 243 after lunch at Taco Maker, but after that it was great the rest of the day. Right before I went to bed last night, I tested and was pleasantly surprised to find a 143 on my meter. I gave myself my dose of Lantus and went to bed, but not without eating a yummy snack first. That didn't help....

I woke up at 5 am this morning with a glucose of 53. Talk about feeling a little defeated! I dragged myself in my "stupor" up the stairs to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of cookies, and a glass of juice. I went back to bed, and woke up this morning with a glucose of 134. These are the numbers that help me reflect on once again establishing better goals and ranges for glucose.

Recently, I watched Michael J. Fox's documentary on his chronic disease and remaining optimistic in life. He said something that struck a serious chord with me (don't quote me verbatim on this) "Of all the things this disease has taken from me, there has been so much given in return". He means that though there have been so many tough times or lost opportunities because of his disease, he has learned so much in return, and is grateful for the little things. I realize I need to re-focus my energies on remaining positive no matter what hardships this disease brings, but recognizing that I am human, and I will at times feel some defeat despite my best efforts not to.